My eyes have bags this morning… Give it more time, and I think they will take all their luggage and move away somewhere without me. I wouldn’t blame them. I kinda abuse them these days. It’s not like I’m choosing to not sleep. Actually, my husband, Jarod, and I have been doing our best to get as much sleep as possible. His insomnia has been allowing us to do much better with that every passing day. But these last few days… To give background, those who know me very well know that I don’t remember my dreams (effectively making me say that I don’t dream, even tho, medically, I’m sure I do). I sleep soundly, deeply. I wake in the morning happy just about every morning, even when I get only five hours of sleep. My body is like that. As some of you know, I have just started a new job, and, in less than a week, I will be actively working that job. I am going to be the new English teacher at the ministry school, New Heights 4 Kids. The second English teacher ever at the school, after my own mama. A lot of pressure, I know. (I’m not terrified, promise…) But here I sit, at home, 4:50 am. I didn’t want to wake up now. I didn’t set my alarm. I would give anything to go back to bed. And, again, anyone who knows me well knows that me waking up really early isn’t necessarily weird. I do that all the time, But this one was different. Like a lot of people, I wake up throughout the night. Nothing weird about that. But, this morning, laying in bed… After going back to sleep over and over again throughout the night, I was too terrified to go back to sleep. Not again. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep waking up in a sweat, my lungs working like a demon itself was coming after me. I had to get up. Being awake had to be better than enduring that over and over again. For someone who doesn’t have dreams, nights on end full of nightmares is more than unsettling. I wasn’t angry when I got up though. Confused, but not angry. I began thinking, praying. Why is this happening to me? It hit me, not long after I got up. Like unknowingly cracking a rotten egg, my skin crawled as I felt God whisper the answer to me. It’s like 1 Peter 4:12, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” My house is changing so much in the next week. My husband was just promoted to Jewelry Manager. (Celebration at Applebees pic! Isn’t he just the cutest? Gosh, I am so proud of him!)
And, of course, school starts. Why wouldn’t this be happening? If I was against me, I would say this is the perfect time to pounce on me. God’s blessing really ticks off the enemy; that much I know for sure. But, even more than that, He hates when we are placed in positions where we are able to be stronger, more potent lights. My husband will have a greater stand than his candle has ever been given before; I will have a group of students to love and teach (I dearly hope, more than just English). Why wouldn’t this be happening? "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith." - 1 Peter 5:8-9 Please, today, remember those brothers and sisters in ministry and powers of authority today. Please pray for protection for their hearts and minds as Satan attacks them. As I step into full-time ministry for the first time, I know only too clearly how Satan can attack those serving against him. Please pray for us to be strong against the dark. Please pray for us to abide in Christ, our King and our Victor. Please pray for us to stand, silhouetted by God’s glorious light. "You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." - 1 John 4:4
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October 2019
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